A TOBACCO CONGRESS.
(From our Foreign Intelligencer.)
Measures have already been instituted for the due accomodation of the Plenipotentiaries who are to attend the proposed Congress, in case that great assembly is destined to come off.
The ultimate object is to facilitate the despatch of the important business which the representatives of the Great Powers will be commissioned to transact.
The principle on which the preparations in question are based is suggested be the circumstances under which their Imperial Majesties the Emperors of France and Austria, meeting discussed and came to an agreement on the preliminaries of the Treaty of Villafranca. Their Imperial Majesties, on that memorable occasion, met, and talked over the polities of Italy, and were enabled to settle the affairs of many millions of men, with cigars in their mouths.
It is this consideration of Congress shall be debated whilst smoking. Hence has arisen the necessity for the arrangements above intimated.
These provisions, summarily stated, are liquor and tobacco, with their accessories. In detail, they include, besides wines, spirits, and cigars of all the higher qualities, Bristol Bird’s Eye, Turkey, Latakia, Cut Cavendish, C’Naster, and Common Shag, together with an adequate proportion of pipes and beer. The latter will comprise all varieties of malt liquor from stingo to swipes, which may be preferred by some of the illustrious diplomatists, who, nevertheless, think no small beer of themselves. The former will embrace every species of meerschaum, hookah, cutty-pipe, narghile, and churenwarden.
Spittoons of a rich and chaste construction, in gold, will be provided for the use of the high contracting parties. The manufacture of these utensils has been entrusted to the eminent jewellers Messrs. Beryl. The Plenipotentiaries will be empowered to carry away their gold spittoons together with the customary allotment of diamond snuff-boxes.
The thought which has presided over the creation of these conditions for the session of Congress is, that of converting this European convention into a veritable Divan; in which grave questions, pondered by diplomacy behind a pipe, will receive a sober consideration from those who well know how not to take too much brandy-and-water.
Nevertheless, it will be in the power of this grand modern council of Amphictyon, to imitate, if it pleases, the wisdom of the ancient Scythians, and discuss all matters submitted to its consideration twice; the first time during a state of intoxication, and, secondly, when sobriety shall have resumed her sway; so that its determinations may not, on the one hand, want vigour, nor, on the other discretion.
It is not too much to hope that the Sachems of the smoking Congress will conclude their labours by passing round the pipe of peace. The only possible obstacle to this desirable result will be, the deplorable obstinacy of a sovereign who persists in obsolete pretensions, and who, if he will not accept the cigarette which will be offered him, will be recommended to put nothing whatever in his pipe, and smoke it.
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