THE RIGHT COLOUR FOR A RIFLE CORPS.
“Broadbrim Villa, Brompton.
“Friend Punch,
“I do not often write unto the Newspapers, inasmuch as it cost time (which, as thou know’st is money), to say nothing of the paper, pens and postage-stamps one spendeth on it. But I feel inclined to say a few words at this present, on the subject of the colours to be chosen for our Riflemen: and I say them unto thee rather than unto the Star (which paper I, till lately, have paid my daily penny for), inasmuch as thou art truly the organ of the movement, and anything thou printest on the subject of our Rifle Corps will assuredly be read by all who are enrolled in them.
“Much debating there hath been, in print as well as out of it, as to what colour is fittest for the dress of Volunteers, and anent the whys and wherefores such should be adopted. I will not weary thee by tedious recital of the arguments, nor mention how each corps, with that independent spirit for which Britons are so famed, hath elected to abide by its own choice of its own colours, without paying any heed to what its neighbours wear or think. Nor need I remind thee how the Government hath, with its usual alacrity, stepped in when just too late with its advice upon the subject; and now that almost all the uniforms are ordered, hath decided of what cloth they ought to have been cut. All I wish to do is to bid all those who own themselves disgusted with their uniform (and I am told their name is nearer Legion than thou’d’st guess) instead of giving up their drill, as they are threatening to do, because forsooth green doesn’t quite suit their complexion, or they fancy that their figure isn’t well set off by grey, to bid all these disgusted ones enrol themselves at once in a corps which I am raising, wherein the colour of the uniform shall be uniformly drab. Drab verily, I think, is the best colour for our Riflemen; inasmuch as if it be not ‘flashy’ or ‘flare up’ (I use the terms which Slang maketh current in our language, that I may make my meaning clearer to the youths whom I address), it at least hath the advantage of being inconspicuous, and of presenting a bad mark to any enemy who aims at it. Moreover, it may truly be regarded as symbolical, when word by Riflemen who arm as ours do, not in menace but in simple self-defence. A Rifle Club so formed is a truly Friends’ Society, formed for keeping friends with all who fear it as a for; and by adopting for its dress the colour which the Friend’s Society hath chosen, it shows its mission plainly as the noses on its front.
“Of course it would be easy to enlarge on these advantages, and show that drab not merely wears well, but is cheaply to be cleaned by simply sending it to the wash; but I have said enough, I think, to recommend it, and I now confidently look for an influx of recruits. Meanwhile, I wold exhort thee to continue ever zealous in the cause thou hast supported, and for all the baleful light the Star may strive to shed on it, we shall see the movement flourish, and the country safe at peace.
“In which belief, believe me to remain, your constant reader,
“Boanerges Broadbrim.”
“P.S. Hath our friend Bright joined a Volunteer Corps yet? He hath shown himself well skilled as a political sharpshooter, and he hath a strangely bellicose propensity for one who claimeth to be writ of as a man of peace.”
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