WHAT NEXT?

OR LIGHT WINDOWS AND LIGHT WEIGHTS.

Here’s a Bill of old Charles Burrell’s,
For punishing by law,
Maids of all work, sharp as squirrels
(But not quite so sure of claw) -

Who their lives and libs go risking
To clean our windows-sashes,
And in payment of such frisking,
Oft come to awful smashes.

Against such legislation,
And objection raised in limine’s,
That in this favoured nation,
“Lex non curat de minimis.”

But none should raise objection,
(Sir Charles at length maintains)
To making a connection
Between “penalties” and “panes.”

One more reason we may summon,
(Though Sir Charles for it should scold one,)
That laws to guard young women,
May be best left to an old one.

But encouraged by example,
Of this Burrellesque law-making,
Comes Lord Redesdale, his ample
Committee-work forsaking,

And would have it straight forbidden
(By a Bull last week made known)m
That a race-horse should be ridden
By a jock below seven stone.

Now, if sharpers must be shackled,
And too weak the legal lock is-
There are light weights to be tackled
In loaves as well as jockeys.

Thoroughbreds deserve affection;
But let Redesdale if he’s able,
Give us thorough bread protection,
In the bakehouse, not the stable.

Lest the turfites all unwilling
To submit to legal fetters,
Bid him mind his private billing,
And leave public to his betters.