Scene III. – The House of Commons. Speaker in Chair.
The Speaker. Order! Order! (Reads the Queen’s Speech.)
Mr. St. Aubyn (in Rifle Costume). I move the Address.
Lord Henley (in Deputy-Lieutenant’s costume). I second the Address.
Mr. Disraeli. You read so unusually ill to-day, my dear Denison, that I could hardly hear you. What have you been doing with yourself, to lose your elocutionary powers. However, I suppose that all is right. But I want to know why the mention of Reform comes so late in the Speech. I want to know why we have not got the Commercial Treaty before us. I want to know what Ministers have been doing with Continental questions since August. I want to know whether Palmerston really means to produce the papers he promises. And I specially want to know how Lord John Russell dared to mix himself up in the Italian question, and undertake to settle Italy.
Lord John Russell. How do you know I did?
Mr. Disraeli. Why, I read it in telegrams.
Lord John Russell. Telegrams! Anonimous messages! A nice kind of party you are, to bring charges on such grounds.
Mr. Disraeli. All very fine, but I should like to know the truth; because it is a most solemn and important question. I invite a reply. R.S.V.P.
Lord Palmerston. I accept the invitation, and beg to inform you, my dear Mr. Disraeli, that the whole story is bosh. My valued young friend, Lord John Russell, never entered into any compact at all; and I dear that you must add this to your already extensive, celebrated, and highly interesting collection of mare’s-nest. We mean to leave Italy to settle her own affairs. If she loves her Princes, let her call them back. If she adores her Pope, let her keep him. But she shall do as she likes. I do mean to produce the papers; and when you have read them, you will see that we have done everything in the most superior manner.
(address voted. – Curtain Falls.)
Wednesday. Mr. Cardwell distinguished himself by an epigram. On the report on the Address, somebody complained that the Queen had said nothing about Ireland. Mr. Cardwell replied, that “the absence of mention of Ireland in a Queen’s Speech was in itself a matter of congratulation.” If the Hon. Member can write as well as talk in that style, he may hear of something to his advantage by calling at 85, Fleet Street. After some miscellaneous talk on things in general, the Address was agreed to.
Thursday. Lord Brougham stated, that all the territories of Sardinia were in Italy, and Lord Normanby declared that they were not.
We believe that a bet was made, and that the question is referred to the editor of the Family Herald. There was nothing else, except the introduction of a little Chancery Bill for making some tiny improvements in practice,- prescribing that India-rubber bands shall be as lawful for fastening up papers as red tape, or some such national boon.
In the Commons the first fight of the Session took place. Mr. Bouverie, who partakes, a good deal, of the characters of the official Prig, and thinks that nothing can be properly done except “in the Department,” is scandalised at Private Members taking up the time of the House on Fridays with questions that raise discussions and delay the progress of work. But the zealous Prig got a good deal snubbed, and his proposal for silencing people was rejected by 166 to 48. Mr. Bright then came out with a proposal which showed the mild character of democratic rule. They has been bribery in Gloucester; so the friend of justice and freedom proposed to withhold the right of voting from everybody, innocent or guilty, in Gloucester, for Ten Years, that during this penal servitude everybody might point at the place as a blot and blotch on our system. The proposal has not yet been carried. Mr. Gladstone then commenced his wonderful financial manipulations, to the utter bewilderment of the House, which, after a few of his explanations, despairingly told him he must do as he pleased.
Friday. Viscount Dungannon’s interference in Church matters is usually extremely undesirable: but to-night he was exceptional, and made a proper protest against certain zealous but unwise Clergymen, who commit “the foolishness of preaching” on the boards of Theatres. Mr. Edwin James demanded a Court of Appeal in criminal cases; and the Home Secretary had to defend himself for not having hanged Dr. Smethurst, Sir George’s excuse being that it was quite possible that Smethurst might not have been guilty. Cardinal Wiseman’s Cross-Bearer, Mr. Bowyer, attacked the Divorce Court. It is not curious that the Romish priests everywhere oppose the granting relief to unhappy married persons? On the Continent one can understand this; for there the teachings of Rome have so demoralised Catholic society, especially female society, that if men with bad wives had a way of escape the scandal to the Church would be awful. But as most Cathoic women in England are as good as most Protestant women here, the Priests and their tools might as well let the subject alone. The Attorney-General promised his Bankruptcy Bill immediately; and so ended the first week of the last session of a Parliament pledged to Suicide. Mr. Punch will be classically ready to cast his three handfuls of earth, and in the mean time proposes to himself the pleasure of throwing a few stones on account.
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