SOCIAL SUGGESTIONS.
BY MRS. ARTFULLE DODOERE.
When you receive your guests, be sure to tell them what a number of disappointments you have had, and how the Lion of the day (whom you know you dared not ask) was laid up with bronchitis, and so prevented coming.
If you have been so lucky as to catch some titled people, take care to tell your greengrocer to bawl their names out extra loudly when, as footman, he announces them.
In making out your dance list, introduce the Caledonians and similar antiquities. The philosophic mind may derive some entertainment from a study of the struggles to which they will give rise. But be ready to come forward as a dea ex machina – and having the directions for the figures in your hand – to act the part of the director in the maze at Hampton Court.
It being considered vulgar now-a-days to eat much, of course you need yo go to great expense about refreshments. A light repast is all that it is fashionable to give-i.e., lots of gas, and little lobster salad.
With regard to wine, you can give your guests champagne at a very small expense, if you do not mind giving such as will be sure to play Old Gooseberry with them. The worse the wine is, recollect, the less will people drink of it. Nobody expects to get good wine at evening parties, and it is just as well that nobody be disappointed.
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