LACONIC LOVE-LETTERS.

Dearest,- If that word is a mistake, throw this note in the fire. Excuse folly, result of last night’s dance. Cab waiting 11:30; train starts at 12; back to-night. No answer sufficient reply to your rejected,-John Short.

Miss Sweet is at a loss to express the embarrassment which she experienced on reading Mr.Swort’s note.

My Dearest Louisa,- Received yours, and note the contents. In haste, yours, J.S.

Dear Mr.Short,- Things must, of course, depend upon circumstances. – L.S.

My Dearest Love,- £500 a-year in the funds. £200 landed property. £600 mortgage at 4 per cent. Net profits of business, £800 per ann. At your feet.- J.S.

My Dear Mr.Short,- Connections? Religious principles?- L.S.

Beloved Object,- Aristocratic. Orthodox. A adore Louisa.- J.S.

My Dear John,- I own you have awakened an interest in my what shall I say!- L.S.

My Only Love,- Bosom.- J.S.

My Dearest Love,- What a goose you are!- L.S.

My Beautiful Bird,- But then you are a duck. So now we understand one another. Accept the enclosed photograph.- J.S.

Inconstant One!- I return it. You were seen last night in a private box at Covent Garden with Miss Jones, I am deceived- farewell. Think no more of- L.S.

Faithless,- I have paid no attentions to Miss Jones like those I understand you received from Captain Brown. Distraction! Madness!- J.S.

Jealous!- I scorn Captain Brown. Torture! Cruel! Unkind!- L.S.

Silly Girl!- Miss Jones is a griffin. Bosh!- J.S.

Dearest, Dearest John,- Can you forgive me?- L.S.

My Own One,- my Fond One. I believe you.- J.S.

My Heart’s Idol,- Say no more.- L.S.

Mistress of my Soul.- Three words only. Name the day.- J.S.

My Love, my Life,- Whenever you like.- L.S.

My precious,- Say, Wednesday.- J.S.

My Treasure,- Very well. The sooner these things are settled the better. I’ll see to everything. Mind then, Wednesday, St.George’s, Hanover Square, 11, sharp. Punctuality is the soul of marriage. Au revoir at the altar!- L.S.

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